Vivien Lee
Vivien Lee: How I Became a Psychologist
By Vivien Lee
This is the story of how I became a psychologist. But warning: it will take me a while to get there.
Monument to fallen Canadian soldiers at United Nations Memorial Cemetery
This is a story of courage, alliance, and humanity. In 1950, South Korea was on the brink of defeat by North Korea. If it were not for the many countries working with the United Nations to fight for South Korea, what is currently known as North Korea could very well have been all of Korea. My family and eventually I could have grown up under the regimes of Kim Il-Sung, Kim Jong-Il, and Kim Jong-Un. If individuals from all over the world, including Canadians, had not been willing to sacrifice their own lives’ for a country they had never been to, South Korea would be a very different place today. Needless to say, I would not be writing this today, in Canada, with freedom or even knowledge of the free world.
I am ashamed that I did not know much about the Korean War until 10 years ago. In 2007, I stood in the United Nations War Memorial Cemetery in Pusan and learned how close the South had been to losing. I looked out over all the graves of soldiers from all over the world, including Canadians, who gave their lives so that South Koreans could live in a free and democratic society. My views on war and military changed in an instant.
This is a story of compassion and altruism. Both of my parents grew up with little money. My father’s family especially struggled. His family could not afford to send him to postsecondary school. However, one man who had begun an agricultural college decided to admit my father on a scholarship. Now, animal agriculture was not his first choice of study. But he desperately wanted to further his education, and studying this subject was what helped to eventually gain him entrance to Canada because he was able to line up work at a chicken farm.
This is a story of perseverance and a raw hunger to succeed. My parents came to Canada soon after getting married with $100. One hundred dollars to begin a new life in a foreign country across the world from anyone they knew. I can’t imagine even going away for a weekend with $100, let alone going across the world completely on my own. My parents raised two children while working on a farm, followed by managing a convenience store, and then owning a couple of businesses. Even during their struggles, they sent what money they could back home and were able to pay for several family members to immigrate to Canada.
Author’s parents – Dr Hoyun and Young Lee
Author with parents and extended family
Author (near Pusan)
Throughout all of this, my father completed his undergraduate, Masters, and then PhD degrees. All in his second language. When I was 14, he made the difficult decision to leave his family and move to the US for his postdoctoral work. Dr. Hoyun Lee is now a successful scientist and professor who has been awarded multiple research grants and awards, including the Premier’s Research Excellence Award.
This is a story of sacrifice. My mother is an unspoken hero. This is a woman who quietly put aside her hopes and dreams for herself in order to help others throughout her entire life. A girl who missed out on her childhood to raise her younger siblings while her mother had to deal with domestic violence. A young woman who put aside her dreams of higher education to help put her siblings through school. A working woman who spent years working to support her husband’s dreams and to raise their children to have a future of which she could only dream. Who quietly and with a broken heart put aside her own goals and ambitions her entire life for her family. Yet, who has never asked for acknowledgement of her sacrifices and who is fiercely proud of her husband and children. My mother: a woman who would do anything and has done everything in her power to help her family thrive, and has never asked for anything in return but love.
All of these decisions of others in my own home and around the globe have led me to my life today: a clinical psychologist. I was able to grow up in Canada; a free society with so many paths open to those who can take them. I was able to take my freedoms for granted because of those who sacrificed before me. I grew up in a safe, secure home in which I knew I could make mistakes and my parents would still believe in me. I had the freedom to attend school and study what I wanted and go into the field of my choosing.
The reason I chose psychology was in part because I got a big step up in the world. I had some difficulties growing up, but growing up in a loving, safe environment with hard-working, ambitious role models gave me the vision that anything was possible. But I looked around and saw other youths starting life a step behind and I realized, “this is not fair”. If I had different parents, I could have ended up down a very different and possibly dark path. If countless others had not sacrificed their safety and lives around the world, I would not have grown up in Canada. I wanted to help individuals get to an even playing field so that, they too, would be able to work towards a better life. My interests when I began graduate school was originally working with youths who had experienced trauma in their lives.
Numbers of fallen soldiers from each UN country at United Nations Memorial Cemetery (Pusan)
My views of the world changed on a dime when I stood in the United Nations War Memorial Cemetery. I was in awe of individuals who sacrifice their health, safety, and occasionally lives to help others, and became interested in the impact of trauma on military members and first responders. I eventually trained in a military veterans’ mental health clinic, and currently work with individuals who have experienced trauma, including various first responders and military members.
So this…this is the story of how I became a psychologist. So many people in my family, in Canada, in Korea, and around the world have sacrificed so much to give me the freedoms I have today. I have been extremely lucky to have been born into my circumstances. I received a giant step up in the world, and my career aspirations are to help others who have not been so fortunate or who have been injured while they themselves were trying to help others. I want to the level the playing field.
Vivien Lee
Toronto, ON