Shilbee Kim
Shilbee Kim: Loving Outside the Box
Shilbee with her husband Adil Dhalla
Shilbee is a young professional and the Manager at the Centre for Social Innovation Regent Park. The Centre for Social Innovation is a co-working space, a community, and a launchpad for organizations and individuals who are making the world a better place.
Shilbee was born in Sydney, Australia, grew up in Busan, South Korea and moved to Toronto, Canada when she was 8 years old. At a young age, she learned about the drastically different political and socioeconomic trajectories of South and North Korea, and wanted to learn more about how societies undergo change. This compelled her to pursue an Honours degree in International Development Studies and minor in Economic Development. After participating in the Ontario Legislature internship program, Shilbee worked as the Social Enterprise Manager at the Native Women’s Resource Centre then became the Manager at the Centre for Social Innovation Regent Park, which is where she met her partner, Adil Dhalla.
Through working together, Adil and Shilbee found that they shared a similar sense of purpose and many other values such as family, inclusivity, and respect for differences. The latter is especially relevant to their story given the significant differences between them. Adil is Shia Ismaili, a sect within the Muslim faith, and his family moved to Tanzania from India in the mid-1800s and then immigrated to Canada where Adil was born. A common topic that remains in the Korean community is that of interracial dating. Was it hard to break it to her parents? While Shilbee encountered some resistance from her parents at the beginning as he was not Korean, Shilbee’s parents quickly opened up and were welcoming of Adil.
What was the solution? Shilbee introduced the idea that she might end up with someone who was not Korean many times so that when it actually became a reality, their walls would have gradually been chipped away. Adil is Canadian but they had lots of questions about his ancestral heritage, racial and religious background. She had to actively create more opportunities for them to directly meet and hang out with Adil so that they could unlearn stereotypes of a different culture which they did not have a lot of exposure to. The more her parents met with Adil, the more quickly they were able to embrace differences while also realizing that he was indeed very similar to us.
This work of building bridges with different cultures starts with our generation. We must constantly challenge our own prejudices, stereotypes, and internalized biases taught by our families, media, or societies at large and ask ourselves, “Why do I think it is okay to date certain races but not others?” At the same time, we must empathize and be compassionate towards our parents and find gentle ways for them to unlearn their perceived notions. We as a younger generation are in the best position to have these conversations with our families and create opportunities for the older generation to be open and to make new connections.
So, how does she feel about Canada as it rings in 150 years as a nation? Shilbee is grateful to her dad for having the foresight and determination to move to Canada and provide amazing opportunities for the family. At the same time, Shilbee is questioning her relationship to this land as a settler living on a colonized land and believes that we have a long way to go to learn about the histories of residential schools, cultural genocide of Indigenous communities, and the implications of this past in present day Canada. She believes that we need to question this concept of Canada as 150 years old, honour the stories that came before the Confederation and play our role as an ally with Indigenous communities in the reconciliation and healing process.